Future of Sex

Posted on: August 30, 2016

We’ve seen the future! Ok, maybe not the actual future. Well, ok fine – we didn’t actually look in the future, but we did think of some things that haven’t been (and probably won’t be) invented yet… Do you think any could work?



What: Ever been in one of those awkward moments when you’re figuring out if that hot guy is genuinely gay, or just majorly metrosexual? How about that cute girl who looks a little tomboyish? Working out whether a guy or girl is gay has never been easier with this handy watch-like gadget. A pulse is beamed out over a 10-meter radius, picking up pheromones and interpreting them in a whole bunch of boring ways that we can’t describe here to let you know whether or not they’re gay.


Likelihood: 2/10. Not in our lifetime. Whilst we know that pheromones play a part in our selection of a partner, getting and interpreting them, creating a radar that puts all that into a watch might take one hell of a Kickstarter.



future of sex gaydar



Gender Translator


What: Let’s be honest, mankind has been trying to figure out what their crush is thinking since we lived in caves. With this software, though, you can de-code the opposite sex plain and clear – and live! Think Google Translate, but y’know, actually useful.


Likelihood: 3/10. It’s been going on for millennia, and it’s unlikely to change even with huge advancements in translation software!


gender translator



STI Scanner Glasses


What: Move over Glass, we’ve cracked the golden nugget! These glasses x-ray scan and detect any infected genitals in a matter of minutes, giving you an all-clear in moments. Plus you’d look crazy stylish!


Likelihood: 1/10. No way. Whilst STI testing kits might become quicker as technology progresses, housing all that into a pair of wayfarers just ain’t gonna happen!


STI Scanner Glasses



Penis Enlargement App


What: Funnily enough, this could be the most realistic product on the list…There are currently erection pumps for guys who have erectile dysfunction, and a simple modification to control the pump with a chip could be a realistic prospect – there’s already trials for a WiFi-enabled female contraception, after all!


Likelihood: Plausable. Whilst nobody has done it yet, it’s conceivable that this could potentially happen within our lifetime…! Just one problem though: what if you lose your phone or, worse, there’s no WiFi?!!



Penis Enlargement App



Pill Reminder App


What: There’s so much we store in our brains: the top news, your boyfriend’s favorite foods, key dates for our upcoming history test…why do we have to remember when to take The Pill each day too? Wouldn’t it be nice to have an app to remind you each day? That would be a dream.


Likelihood: Tricked ya – this one is real! And you can download it right now: Pill Reminder App.


With the exception of Pill Reminder App, the inventions above are unfortunately not real.


pill reminder app




Maik Lange