30 Verbal Contraceptives, Pickup Lines to Keep You Protected

Posted on: August 31, 2016

Don’t have a condom handy? Well you won’t have need for one at all if you whip out one of these awful, cringe-worthy (yet kinda brilliant) pickup lines. Scroll for 30 things you could say on a date – depending on how you’d want it to turn out.



You’ve been warned!




For Him

1. Do you work in a coffee shop? Because I like you a latte!
2. Wanna be my story? I’ll write the climax.
3. Love that dress, but it’d look better on my bedroom floor.
4. I treasure hunt in my spare time. Can I take a look in your chest?
5. You look hot with these beer goggles!
6. I lost my virginity…Can I have yours?
7. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
8. Nice legs – what time do they open?
9. Need a ride anywhere? Cause I can take you to heaven and back.
10. There’s a sale in my bedroom and clothes are 100% off.
11. Do you like raisins? How about a date?
12. I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect more than a couple of inches tonight.
13. Feel my shirt…That’s boyfriend material.
14. Are those pants from space? Because your ass is out of this world!
15. Hey, can you give me directions? I’m trying to get to your house.


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For Her

1. Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
2. My beaver is bored. Do you have any wood for it play with?
3. Are you a burger? Cause you can be the meat between my buns.
4. You look like a hard worker. I’ve got an opening you can fill right now.
5. Do these feel real to you?
6. If I said I was a delivery driver, would you let me handle your package?
7. I’m not wearing any socks – and I have the underwear to match.
8. You’re wasted, but that condom in your pocket shouldn’t have to be.
9. Can I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.
10. I’m a hurdle, want to jump me?
11. What’s your name? I’ll be screaming it all night.
12. Do you sell carpets? I’m looking for a deep shag.
13. Are you a fireman? Because your hose is making me wet.
14. Did you ring my doorbell? I’d rather hear you scream my name.
15. If I was your pinky toe, I’d let you bang me on all the furniture.


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Remember – even if words are sometimes your weapon of choice, they are not real contraception. Make sure you always know which mode is best for you.

Know Your Options.




Maik Lange