YOUTH TASK FORCE MEMBER

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Stuart Heritage

Writer, Editor
London, UK
31 yrs

Find out more about Stuart on:

About me

Q&A

Star sign: Leo

Relationship Status: In a relationship with a fairly lovely doctor lady

Family: One dad, one mum, one little brother

Yourself in three adjectives: Lazy, English, funny

Yourself in three non-adjectives: internet, iPod, public transport

If you were an animal, you'd be an: Emperor Tamarin. Google it. Who wouldn’t want to be an animal with facial hair that brilliant?

Dreams & aspirations: I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good. I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and... look, don’t make me write out the entire song, OK? I’m a busy man.

People you admire and why: Nicolas Cage, because there isn’t a single film on Earth that he couldn’t improve by making his eyes all big and shouting a lot. Oh, and my parents.

Proudest moment: I honestly don’t think it’s happened yet. I’ll let you know when it does.

An embarrassing moment: I had to review the day’s news on TV a while ago and, because of nerves, giggled all the way through a piece about dead seagulls. Not my finest hour.

Favourite place to hang out: On my own sofa

Favourite shop: The Apple Store. Apple, if you’re reading this, send me something for free.

Favourite smell: Fresh mint

Colour of your room: Sort of off-white (it’s rented - I’m not allowed to paint it).

Favourite shoes: This pair of Bertie desert boots that I’m not allowed to wear until my birthday. It’s driving me insane. I sound like a girl. Ignore me.

What you're reading: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris - a very funny collection of mini-memoirs.

Special talents: I can cook eggs quite well. Does that count as a special talent?

Favourite YouTube vid: ‘Toby y Sheila: pata adopto perrito!!!’ - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96xRToUdzD0 - Because I’ve never seen a video go from heartwarming to flat-out disturbing so quickly.

3 Favourite websites:

Best Week Ever - www.bestweekever.tv, because it’s like what I do for a living, only funnier.
AV Club - www.avclub.com, because it’s like what I do, only cleverer.
The Bugle -
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/the_bugle/, because it’s a very very very very good podcast.

Something that made you laugh today: The Daily Show - “What’s left on the moon today is an American flag, an old car and some sports equipment, so mankind’s collective giant leap forward basically turned the moon into a meth-head’s front yard.”

Best advice you've ever received: People aren’t just going to give you stuff, you have to go out and hunt it down.

Something lazy you've done this week: I honestly can’t answer this. I’ll be banned from my gym if I tell you. It’s not worth the pain.

An environmentally friendly thing you always do: Reuse plastic bags

An environmentally friendly thing you should do more: Turning things off instead of leaving them on standby

Something your parents told you when you were little and you've never forgotten: Don’t chew with your mouth open

Random fact you'd like to share: Hippo milk is bright pink

Where you met your first true love: At a wedding. Not my own. That would be weird.

How many times you've been in love: A handful

Best thing about men: We are rational

Most irritating thing about men: We’re too competitive

Best thing about women: Sometimes they can look quite nice

Most irritating thing about women: They talk too far much

Complete this phrase: Life’s a... rollercoaster. It’s short, and when it ends you’re usually screaming and covered in somebody else’s vomit.

Interests

Music I like

STUART'S BLOG ENTRIES

February 27th, 2012

Stuart Heritage's story on Talk Contraception

Back in the shed again – sex as a taboo

Last year, I posted a video here of a trip I took to Nepal back in 2010. There were plenty of things I’ll remember about that visit - like the explosive double-ended food poisoning I got there, or how smelly all my clothes were by the time I got back - but I think the thing that'll stick in my mind more than anything else is the country's attitude to sexuality and contraception.

October 24th, 2011

Stuart Heritage's story on Metablog

Metablog Fall

Welcome to another Youth Task Force metablog. You know how these things work by now, right? We tell about all the adventures that the glamorous YTF members have been up to and you stand back, awed and impressed. And then I tell you that the most exciting thing to happen to me is that I found a half-price meat pie in a supermarket three weeks ago, and you all feel a bit sorry for me. Ready?

September 15th, 2011

Stuart Heritage's story on Talk Contraception

Sex on Camera

When you're as massively inhibited as I was a teenager, it’s hard to find information about sex and contraception. You can’t ask your mum because, duh, she's your mum. You can’t ask your teachers because you'd be too distracted by all the hair sticking out of their nostrils. And you can't look at the internet because I am the oldest man in the world and electricity didn't exist back then, let alone the internet.

So what else is there?

July 8th, 2011

Stuart Heritage's story on Contraception Myths

Misuse of mouse poo

It’s a little known fact that human beings have almost always had sex, apart from a brief period in the fourteenth century where they attempted to make children from twigs and mud. And throughout all of this time, the practice has remained largely the same. It goes in, it comes out, and sometimes it results in a baby.

But just because the basic thrust of it hasn’t changed, the details have. Specifically, the way we think about sex changes all the time. And, in general, the moral seems to be that people are really stupid.

May 16th, 2011

Stuart Heritage's story on 21C Sex Education

So You Want to Learn about Sex and Contraception

So, you’re a British teenager and you want to learn about sex and contraception. The sex education you receive at school is too obscure and biology-focused for it to help. Your parents have been terrified of discussing sex with you since that time you asked your mother what a vagina was and she turned a funny colour and ran away. You don’t want to go to a doctor for advice, because you’re scared that they’ll post pictures of your face around the surgery with the words “HA HA HA, THIS IDIOT DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT AN INTRAUTERINE DEVICE IS!” written across it in massive letters.

March 25th, 2011

Stuart Heritage's story on Talk Contraception

Experiencing rain, monkeys and sex in Nepal

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In this video, Stuart Heritage tours Nepal for the trip of a lifetime, and talks sex with the locals.

February 9th, 2011

Stuart Heritage's story on Talk Contraception

Trust Them, They’re Doctors

I’ll let you in on a secret: I’m scared of doctors. This is particularly stupid because I’m going to get married to one of them soon. But I’m still scared of them. If I get sick, I’d rather sweat it out and wait to get better than visit a doctor. I hate the feeling that I’m wasting their time while other, sicker people are left waiting. I hate the way receptionists at surgeries think it’s their business to know exactly what’s wrong with you. Most of all, I hate talking to strangers. I hate talking to people I actually know, so I really hate talking to strangers.

And I know I’m not alone here. Here’s a story: a friend of mine was having issues with her contraception recently. I tried using my wealth of knowledge as a Youth Task Force member to talk her about it, but this didn’t go down well. Maybe, in retrospect, making her sit down and listen to me (her slightly over-enthusiastic male friend) babble on about cervical mucus like a froth-mouthed born-again Christian wasn’t the cleverest way to make her feel comfortable.

December 30th, 2010

Stuart Heritage's story on 21C Sex Education

The Talk

I've mentioned this online before [http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2010/jul/07/sex-education-show-tv], but earlier this year on British TV, there was a series called The Sex Education Show. It was brilliant for all sorts of reasons (and a bit rubbish for a few other reasons) but my favourite segment was where the producers rounded up a bunch of teenagers, sat them down with their parents, and forced them to talk about sex and contraception.