I guess I have come to the end of this story, so it's time to share it.
I have a boyfriend who's now my fiancé. We have a long distance relationship but were able to survive that way for two and a half years. Last year I moved to a different country for a new job, which made a difference because he could visit me more often, so things were really going great, despite the distance. In my new job I met many other guys who were somewhat interested in me, but I was too busy and in love with my BF to even notice anyone else.
Then there was this one guy at work who people said had a crush on me. He looks good physically, and everybody respects him as he's got a good position in my company. We would say hi to each other, and he had seen me a few times with my BF when he visited. I had also seen him quite a few times with his kid and wife, which is how I learned that he was already married. We never really talked at work, but he was telling everyone how much he liked me.
I admit, it flattered me when my colleagues teased me. I heard he’d never liked anyone at work until I came. After a few months at work, I still saw him around and had meetings with him. I saw him whenever I went to the gym, since we all live in a compound provided by the company, but I had my life and he had his.
Until one time we bumped into each other online. From then on we started talking regularly, and he started calling me. I didn't give him my number - he got it from the files at work. He used to send me simple gifts, and he was very sweet. At work he would call me and tell me he was watching me, or give me compliments whenever I achieved something. So our conversations led to serious topics, and the next thing I know we are officially friends..but we never went out. We just talked online and sent text messages. He would tell me his problems - marital and family problems.
Then he told me he had never been happy with his marriage. Upon hearing him say that, I immediately saw the signs that he was trying to cheat on his wife with me. I thought I should stop talking to him so often, as it would not be good for me to hang around (even virtually) if he were really having problems with his wife. But it didn't really happen.
Instead, we stopped saying hi at work. We acted like we didn’t know each other. We had one dinner together, and agreed to go to the gym at the same time. I was not really comfortable with it though, so most of the time I stood him up. I started to feel guilty, even though things were just starting. I felt it was wrong to think he only wanted to be my friend. We saw each other several times; it wasn’t a date, but I knew it was something. I admit, I started to feel things...and whenever my BF called me, talking to him was just not so interesting anymore. I felt bad about it, because I always used to look forward to talking to and seeing him.
There really were times when I was able to overcome my desire by not showing up whenever he asked me to meet up. One time I met up with him and we ended up kissing. I walked out, feeling very guilty. I told him it was wrong, because he was married and I was engaged. I told him to go back to his family and fix things with his wife. He said he had fallen for me, and I admit I had fallen for him too. But it was very wrong.
So we chose to make a decision while we were both still sane. It was very difficult. I started to miss him. But after that we never met up again. I see him at work and it hurts me a lot. Whenever we meet in the streets, we just stare at each other and look away...and then he sends me a message telling me his feelings...We still talk online once in a while. I wish we could be friends and spend time together without feeling all these crazy feelings. Now I’m working on the papers to be with my BF...and will be leaving this job soon. And I know I will be thinking of this guy for a long time.
I guess we were both too late to love each other. Not in this lifetime.